I subscribe to a newspaper, which comes with 3 supplements, sometimes 4. All the supplements carry the "horoscope" section. (Not that i believe in horoscopes, but for sake of writing this article lets believe i believe in them)
Anyways one fine thursday morning, i read my horoscope in the main paper, it said : " Take care of health today, especially your stomach. A gastronomic problem is on the charts, could lead to stomach upset."
Then i read the supplement horoscope, it said: "You will be exuding charm today. People will want to comment on you, they will say something like:- I like your smell, I want to be around you" :-) smell,around me ???
I will have a stomach problem today, and people will like my smell and they will want to be near me?? I dont think so !!
This is what i mean by Disinformation. This newspaper has turned into a tabloid. It has a supplement (read as toilet read) which they claim to be a brilliant print article (I too claim to be a Mark Knopfler)
And all it contains is trash.
Note : The next paragraph or two have been dipped in a huge vat of sarcastic liquid and hung up to dry, hence they will be dripping with sarcasm.
The few reasons why i like the supplement :
The supplement has made a huge difference in my life. thanks to all the parties covered in the paper, i have developed a different take on life. The article "Forever Young" has been instrumental in helping me in my concentration. The various articles on the TV stars have built in me lots of self belief.
Also i have recieved tremendous tips in fashion from all the various celebs. Thank You so much BT, you really have made my morning enjoyable and knowledgable.
Thank You.
Well this is only the print medium, the TV media is even worse. Many of the channels go to 24 hrs live even when they dont have the content.
So how to fill the 24 hrs. One option is to repeat the news, but instead they prefer to elongate te time taken to report the news.
They will just chew the news ON and ON till it becomes pulp and the whole point to be reported is lost somewhere. (The ruminating bastards)
When they report on Cricket, the channels get in a ""expert" who is a failed ex cricketer, who is free because no team wants him !!
And they keep on rambling on and on till the next match starts..
Is this what has happened to journalism in this country? In the bid to win over viewers is it right to sensationalise the news. Do responsible newspapers have to resort to "tabloidism" to get in the readership (btw forgot to mention that the paper is currently holding the record for maximum number of spelling mistakes which includes the Editorial also)
Sensible reporting sure has gone down the drain, and replaced by (Dis)Information
Wednesday, September 7
Saturday, September 3
What the....? When the....? Where the...? How the....?
The above mentioned title accurately describes the state of my mind this morning.
Here I was, up at my regular time of 9:00 am, a cup of tea in my hand, sitting in front of the TV.
I was casually flicking through the channels when I stopped on NDTV 24/7 and read the headlines " India pledges monetary aid in millions of $ to the survivors of Hurricane Katrina "
What the....? When the....?Where the...?How the....? ...Precisely. I thought this must be some sort of a monster typo but there it was..
The headlines itself was a cruel joke on the Mumbaites.
Is the government run by some brain dead bozos. Or is this some real example of "ass licking"
Please help me out here. On one hand the government can't spare money for the affected of their very own great city ravaged by rains. The very city which powers the economic engine of this country, the very city whose tax returns are more than many of the states combined, and on the other hand they pledge money to the country presided by a primate who is currently engaged in some very serious milking business. Agreed the incident is very sad but WTF.
Whats wrong with these people. The world knows the monkey ruled country is quite capable of handling this disaster. They have enough money stashed in Locker nos IRQ/fooled them/666 and AFGN/stupd/911 to bale them out.
This act of lending monetary support to country which actually does not need it, instead of their own city is beyond my comprehension.
Man I am waiting for the official press release from Mr Natawarlal and the Lungi clad Mr C. (goddamn wear a pant !!)
Seriously WTF !!
Here I was, up at my regular time of 9:00 am, a cup of tea in my hand, sitting in front of the TV.
I was casually flicking through the channels when I stopped on NDTV 24/7 and read the headlines " India pledges monetary aid in millions of $ to the survivors of Hurricane Katrina "
What the....? When the....?Where the...?How the....? ...Precisely. I thought this must be some sort of a monster typo but there it was..
The headlines itself was a cruel joke on the Mumbaites.
Is the government run by some brain dead bozos. Or is this some real example of "ass licking"
Please help me out here. On one hand the government can't spare money for the affected of their very own great city ravaged by rains. The very city which powers the economic engine of this country, the very city whose tax returns are more than many of the states combined, and on the other hand they pledge money to the country presided by a primate who is currently engaged in some very serious milking business. Agreed the incident is very sad but WTF.
Whats wrong with these people. The world knows the monkey ruled country is quite capable of handling this disaster. They have enough money stashed in Locker nos IRQ/fooled them/666 and AFGN/stupd/911 to bale them out.
This act of lending monetary support to country which actually does not need it, instead of their own city is beyond my comprehension.
Man I am waiting for the official press release from Mr Natawarlal and the Lungi clad Mr C. (goddamn wear a pant !!)
Seriously WTF !!
Tuesday, August 30
The Captain's Secret diaries...
The following is the work of a bored individual, who accidently had access to the secret diaries of the Indian Captain. The author was having bouts of temp amnesia and multiverse-al hallucinations.As a result of which the dates cannot be verified for, though the content is......
July 27 : Read about the deluge in Mumbai.. I wonder if Bandra has sunk completely.Keeping my fingers crossed.
July 30 : Came back to India from England. Not so good an outing. I wonder why the county teams kept bowliing at my ribs and the leg side. Damn them.
August 4 : Went to Eden Park. Had to get some practice to get back my form (...who am i kidding...)
August 5 : Read about Rahul's show in the final in SriLanka.. hahaha "sucker" The wall.. yeah right... serves him right for passing comments on my running..
August 6 : Finally had time to go to the jeweller to change the threads on my 15 necklaces. they really were wrecked and frayed on the day of the Natwest final.. That reminds me : Gotto change my innerwear too. The whole world saw the brand when i jumped on Kaif.. I wonder how "Hanes" is ??
Note to myself : "Shave armpits if we are on the verge of winning"
August 10 :Took the stuff from England for Kiran M and co for gift wrapping.
August 12 : Landed in Mumbai for the Selection meeting. Gifts dispatched. Darn forgot the one for J.D
August 13: Met Greg "who the hell do you think you are" Chappell. I hate the Aussie accent. Looks like he needs to be worked upon. Well traditionally Kiwis are softer than the Aussies but i feel i can get the job done.
August 14 : Had a nightmare. I dreamt that even Sahara is going to leave me.. phew..Well thankfully thats not going to happen.. they seem to have a knack of putting their money on losers.. Lucky Me..
August 15 : Ho hmmmmm.
August 16 : (morning 7:00 Am) .The big day today. Selection meeting. Time to see if the Chanels' have done the trick. Fingers crossed..
August 17 :Yipppeeee. How you doin Captain...;-) Hoorrraaaahhhhh. .Now who's the man.Rahul...huhnnnnn who's the man. I feel invincible
August 19 : Leaving for Chennai. Sticky...sheesh ..
August 21 : Inflight to Zimbabwe.Taunted Rahul all the way to the Airport
I dont like the new hairy boys... thank god for my "Brady Bunch"
August 22 : Stranded in Bulawayo.Looks like our complacency is rubbing on the Board. Zimbabwe sucks.
August 25 : F@#k you Bond.
New entry in the book of excuses : Blame the board for the loss.
Note to myself : Dont fake anymore injuries. the excuse is too fresh in people's minds.
August 30 : We won. got to agree .i did not see it coming. In state of shock... How did it happen..
Give me novoaine... Enjoy it while it lasts
July 27 : Read about the deluge in Mumbai.. I wonder if Bandra has sunk completely.Keeping my fingers crossed.
July 30 : Came back to India from England. Not so good an outing. I wonder why the county teams kept bowliing at my ribs and the leg side. Damn them.
August 4 : Went to Eden Park. Had to get some practice to get back my form (...who am i kidding...)
August 5 : Read about Rahul's show in the final in SriLanka.. hahaha "sucker" The wall.. yeah right... serves him right for passing comments on my running..
August 6 : Finally had time to go to the jeweller to change the threads on my 15 necklaces. they really were wrecked and frayed on the day of the Natwest final.. That reminds me : Gotto change my innerwear too. The whole world saw the brand when i jumped on Kaif.. I wonder how "Hanes" is ??
Note to myself : "Shave armpits if we are on the verge of winning"
August 10 :Took the stuff from England for Kiran M and co for gift wrapping.
August 12 : Landed in Mumbai for the Selection meeting. Gifts dispatched. Darn forgot the one for J.D
August 13: Met Greg "who the hell do you think you are" Chappell. I hate the Aussie accent. Looks like he needs to be worked upon. Well traditionally Kiwis are softer than the Aussies but i feel i can get the job done.
August 14 : Had a nightmare. I dreamt that even Sahara is going to leave me.. phew..Well thankfully thats not going to happen.. they seem to have a knack of putting their money on losers.. Lucky Me..
August 15 : Ho hmmmmm.
August 16 : (morning 7:00 Am) .The big day today. Selection meeting. Time to see if the Chanels' have done the trick. Fingers crossed..
August 17 :Yipppeeee. How you doin Captain...;-) Hoorrraaaahhhhh. .Now who's the man.Rahul...huhnnnnn who's the man. I feel invincible
August 19 : Leaving for Chennai. Sticky...sheesh ..
August 21 : Inflight to Zimbabwe.Taunted Rahul all the way to the Airport
I dont like the new hairy boys... thank god for my "Brady Bunch"
August 22 : Stranded in Bulawayo.Looks like our complacency is rubbing on the Board. Zimbabwe sucks.
August 25 : F@#k you Bond.
New entry in the book of excuses : Blame the board for the loss.
Note to myself : Dont fake anymore injuries. the excuse is too fresh in people's minds.
August 30 : We won. got to agree .i did not see it coming. In state of shock... How did it happen..
Give me novoaine... Enjoy it while it lasts
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