Friday, October 27

(panting, scared) *Phew...Its just a wild thought..just a wild thought...nothing else...just a wild thought...take control..breathe slowly..*phew

Expressing your feelings, getting them out of your head, through your mouth into other people's ears or free into the ether is very de-stressing.
Blogging helps too, blogging actually helps a lot. Just sign in to blogger.com or typepad.com, click new post and vent your feelings through the keyboard, and voila you are already feeling relaxed.

But hey, when I say feelings or emotions, I mean both of them. Positive et Negative.
Then why is that when i move around the Blogosphere, 9 out of 10 blogs I encounter tell sad, rather non-positive tales ?

# 1. Boohooo...My boyfriend is gay
# 2. My boss hates me. Screw that son of a bitch
# 3. My wife's been cheating on me...must have shoulder to cry on else will embrace the Magnum on my table

and so on.....

During all this, everyone seems to forget one of the basic laws of the universe.
Energy cannot be destroyed. Which reads in this context that, all the sad tales, break-up tales etc just don't vanish, they are floating around and burdening Blogger server and will soon spread all over the Internet.

Which means according to my calculations, ;-) taking into consideration all the factors like :
# 1. The number of sob-stories being posted every minute
# 2. The intensity of the sob story on the scale of 1-100( eg the world hates me is 85, my boyfriend or my girlfriend is gay is 62 etc)
# 3. The popularity of the sob-story posting blog.
# 4. The freshness of the reason ( eg. That raccoon always makes indecent gestures at me )etc...

that the Internet is going to severely depressed in another T + 236 months. Now that's real bad news.

I don't want a new message on Orkut, whenever it refuses to load my page reading : " Bad, bad server...no more psychiatric sessions for you"

Nor do I want a new message in my inbox, just after I fire off an e-mail which says:
" From: Mailer Daemon, Topic: Delivery Status Notification, Message: I am so sorry, I just was not in the mood to deliver that happy and cheerful sounding love letter to your girl-friend ;-), it so reminds me of those good old days. I am so sorry, right now all I think is about that large bottle of sleeping pills on the server stand. Sorry again"

Jeez. These sure are frightful thoughts. So people please, lets all get-together and stop the Internet from getting clinically depressed and turn in to Marvin the clinically depressed robot.
Because, we know what clinical depression leads to. *BANG*..No more Internet...No more orkutting...no more porn (*shudder)...no more emails...no more live streaming music..no more wiki..No more Nothing

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!

Sunday, October 8

In Tyler We Trust !

"If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this is useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity, you will become a statistic.
You have been warned.......Tyler"

Friday, September 15

Stratophotographical

















Tried but could not get a better angle. I was moving to fast to the right and downwards at an acute angle, but nonetheless a great image.

The country sure did look peaceful and calm from up there, but as soon as I landed..*poof..the hope vanished

Friday, August 25

For all you Usual Suspects fans !!

Stumbled upon this amazing and funny parody of the usual suspects, performed on SNL...and Spacey so sportingly getting ready to be the butt of the joke

Enjoy



If the movie doesn't load...follow this link--> click on me

Thursday, August 10

The Fellowship of DaVinci and Alchemist.

The night was clear and was revealing itself in its full glory. Parisian nights always put up their best displays, showing off their wares to hundreds and thousands of hungry customers who gaze at the open splendors of the Champs Elysees or the Arc De Triomphe or pray at the Notre Dame or those who sit on the road side cafes at Rue de Rennes enjoying their croissants, blissfully unaware of the once embedded sniper bullet some distance to their right near the eternal flame. It was the same, that night too for nearly all the out-of-towners except one.

He was absolutely disinterested in the Crazy Horse or the Lido or beautiful Rue Du Faubourg Saint Honore or the Eiffel Tower’s sparkling reflection over the Seine. Only the thing in front of him held his attention. He was on his knees and praying in front of a huge inverted pyramid. One thing he knew for sure, no one was looking at him. He knew for certain everyone had closed their books and wondering “Well that was one pot-boiler”. Some were going over the controversial part once again and absorbing the legend, some were measuring their arm lengths and calculating whether that ratio was Phi or not, some were thinking “Man the movie sucked big time..sheesh what a rip-off”. Whatever it be the man knew he was alone.
He knew he had to act fast. The Louvre was an imposing structure all around him. There could be someone behind the curtains watching him. He had to take this chance though. He bent down more and knocked on the small pyramid jutting through the museum floor. An echo called back. So, he thought, there really is a hollow chamber beneath. It was very exciting. He again thought of the quirk of fate, because of which he finally was here. The universe really conspired for him to get him what he desired the most. He took out a staff and knocked on the glass. He waited, but nothing happened. The glass was as stubborn as the silica crystals in it. Then it hit him, the chamber was not going to open till he had said the words. Robert Langdon tried to remember the words. He spoke softly, “ Mellon....Felon....Cello....Alo.....Gelo” But the glass was unmoved. Then it hit him and he said slowly, “ Bellon” and the glass parted with a clean finish and revealed a circular staircase going down into the dungeon. The air from below smelled fresh, Langdon was surprised. It felt like someone had recently opened the chamber. But how could that be ? Did the late curator used to go in to dust the place ? He moved down slowly, testing each step, putting his weight gingerly and uncomfortably wondering for an answer. The air started getting a little heavy with lingering smell of Axe Voodoo. So it is some man who was here before him, the sharp and analytical brain of Langdon thought.
After going about 5 floors down, Langdon rounded a corner and saw a sight he could never forget for the rest of miserable next 130 pages he was going to survive. Strewn in front of him on the floors instead of the sarcophagus were fish bones which read out “ PRECIOUSSS IS LOST…*Gollum Gollum”

What in the freaking blistering barnacles thought Langdon. And as he was swearing he never saw the blow coming down from behind. As he fell down, he heard someone speak with a thick Scottish accent, " So this Langdonnaa, not much of a man is heaa ? Bloody Yankeeeaa" and then another voice, Langdon couldn't quite place it though it was faintly similar, he heard it say " You got you man Davy mayte, lets talk abt me ship now...savvy ? " and Langdon slipped into sweet unconsciousness.


To be continued……

Sunday, July 16

RAW is still raw ?

Well 25 years hence, there won't be a film called " Mumbai - Based on 7/11" (I hate using 7/11, a mindless and spineless and blind adaption by Mr. Sardesai) like a " Munich " not because we will still lack a director of the caliber of Spielberg, but because there won't be a story of revenge.

Atleast Golda Meir had dossiers on the culprits in front of her immediately after the massacre thanks to that unbelievably small, yet unbelievably effective intelligence agency of theirs, Mossad. We on the other hand are going about a blind nation-wide crackdown on "suspects". Agreed that today, India cannot afford a knee-jerk reaction of attacking terrorist camps in POK or even ruthlessly hitting the sleeper cells or the known terrorist outfits inside the borders. A knee jerk reaction always boomerangs. Of all the nations, Israel should know this. 10 years down the line, there will be a suicide bomber who will target a packed Tel-Aviv bus, to seek revenge for his uncle who was like a father-figure to him, who got killed while shopping at a duty-free shop at Beirut airport. And there will be more retaliation and so forth.

But having said that, the intelligence failure of our country cannot be ignored. The Intelligence Bureau "IB" of ours seems like a dilly-dandy outfit which for some reason fails to gather intelligence. Maybe they are busy finding out info on the sex-life of the opposition party leaders or filing reports on why do rich British Indians handsomely donate money to the VHP.

Note: It has so come to my notice, that the word politicians, party leaders keeps popping up on any blog, which tends to analyse the problems of the world today. Co-incidence ? Have we stumbled upon the of pi of how to eradicate problems all together ?

Ex-IB officials have been shouting their lungs out for increasing the budget for the agency. But again politicians....... (kindly take note). Intelligence gathering is an exhaustive task. That scene of intelligence gathering in a suburban Paris cafe is reserved only for the movies. In reality it takes a lot of time and is much much harder. Identifying the informant, finding his reason for the betrayal, correctly recognising his motive, be-friending him and then actually start getting the good stuff out of him, takes a lot of time, dedication and money. Thanks to a very rare good article in The Times of India, I read about how two people shook off IB sleuths on their trail (how did they find out about the sleuths in the first place ?)just by entering an expensive restaurant. The two knew, thanks to the ultra-slim budget of the IB, the sleuths just wont be able to enter an expensive place and voila...no more spies. It was really sad to read that.

Another thing that was mentioned, was that the lapses in intelligence were due to over-dependence on ELINT (Electronic intelligence) rather than HUMINT (Human intelligence), when it is known that the best solution for the intelligence gathering equation is the HUMINT. Apparently RAW has many aircrafts which fly near the western borders and can pick up any telephone call made in Pakistan. But what use would it be if the message is passed strapped on the back of a mule? Also I doubt whether the CCTVs at railway stations would help. They certainly did not prevent the London bombings.

Shouldn't an IB be the baby of the government? Shouldn't the government shower it with money, praise, free rein to do its job? Shouldn't people look upto an agency with pride, and rather not as a punishment posting of some sort? Why can't we emulate a MOSSAD ?

If only there would have been a tip from a Bandya chaiwalla at the city entry-point that some "awaaz" is coming in the city tonight or an info from Chacha polish walla on platform 4 at Churchgate, that 5 suspicious characters have been seen studying the stations for the past one week, this tragedy would definitely have been averted.

Friday, June 16

Well well

Ohhh thank you thank you...No no thats very kind of you..seriously..thank you all, please be seatedm, no touching the hair and face, please public...please please thank you so much (applause builds on more) (just waving hands, blushed by the response )

Thank you all Ladies and gents....for the rousing welcome back.

Now for the post. Long time coming, no specific topic. Actually was away to find out all the answers of life. Got nearly all of them except these:

1. Why do people put celebrity pictures as their own display pics ? ex: A guy named Sushil puts up Aishwarya's picture (Yes Sushil, many nearly fell for that one, I swear)

2. For how many years more, are people are going to keep forwarding Chain mails ?. Dont they know of Kamato Singh ?

3. Why cant these Gujju guys in the train play their "rami" quietly ?

4. Why do they always buy packets of peanuts at VT and then leave packets of flattus near Sion ?

5. /why is our met department so accurate ?

6. Is that Orkut guy really that rich ?


Others coming up ?

Monday, April 24

Is Hell Exothermic Or Endothermic?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to
know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of
this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct¡leaving only Heaven ... thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept screaming "Oh my God!"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

Tuesday, April 11

Two years down the line.............................

It is going to be nearly 2 years since it happened. I can still vividly remember the day. My Hydraulic Machines viva was due the next day. Preparations were going fine. Actually was quite high on confidence, as the viva on that day had gone extremely well.

The whole semester was turning out just to my liking. It was my father's birthday the next day. I was just sitting around discussing when and where to celebrate it.

Basically.... I was leading what can be described to be a very very normal evening.........

In general, as a group of close knit group of friends, one generally tends to imagine where each one of us would be 20 years down the line. All of us have a picture of everybody else in their thoughts. You assume that everyone would be where you imagine them to be. It is quite obvious I guess to do that once you are very good friends. You just assume that 20 years down the line, they are still with you.

Hah.

The telephone rang. I asked my mother to pick it up, she did. But all she said was "Hello" and then she listened for the next 5 minutes. I could easily read her face as the emotions on it turned from surprise to shock to horror....

All she said to me after that was : "Its for you"

I picked up the receiver, listened to the caller at the other end, felt my guts tighten, experienced shock as a chill ran down my spine. After another 5 minutes I replaced the receiver on the cradle, sat down, thought over what I just heard. I knew what I heard was just a lie, but I had to tell others about it.

Next 30 seconds went in searching Govindraj's number from my cellphone phone-book. Then I called him up and regurgitated all I had heard before. He confirmed my initial reaction by calling it a lie. Within 2 minutes Anup called me up and tried to convince me that it was all a sham.

But there was a trace of horror, terror to his voice, to my voice, which was forcing my by-now numb mind to think it over again.

But then you can't let go off such incidents before confirming them personally. Slightly shaking I drove to the place at around 10:00 pm. During that very short drive, I was literally praying that let there be no group of my friends standing at the gate. But there they were, lending an all too-ominous feeling to the atmosphere.

I waited and I waited, spoke to some of my school pals. Heard different versions of the same story, hoping (fruitlessly) that atleast let there be one with a different ending. But, NO, the ending was the same.

Around 1:30am the confirmation came in a vehicle. I was hoping against hope till the last moment, till the doors opened and the party descended from the vehicle, that all this be false, please let it be an extravagant Mtv Bakra episode.

But there was no Cyrus inside. Just four men. Three of them getting out. One being carried out.

The next 2 hours right from the moment the three of them got out till the point the flames licked are something I will never forget.

Its been 2 years, but the memories linger, yes they are fading oh so slightly, the sad ones getting replaced by the good, funny, silly ones of the past, but they still are there. They shall never go.

Even today, my friends and me before sitting down for a meal or a drink maybe, always keep one extra plate and one extra glass at the table. Because it deserves to be there.

Cheers to you my friend, N.B.

Thursday, March 23

God's Debris

It had been a long time since I had a compelling read. Something that would cause my brain to swivel inside my skull, till i found this Click here -> Brain Swiveler

It is the link to the page where Scott Adams (Creator of Dilbert) has put up his e-book called God's Debris.

It's a fantastic read and let me tell you nothing like Dilbert( No corporate bashing, or any management takes)

It's something different. The book is around 144 pages long, but its a clincher.

By the way, his blog is very funny. A must read and a must bookmark.

I was not able to comprehend all that he has written in the book, but it is worth reading. Maybe an another go at it will clear the matter up.

Enjoy it. Spread it to as many as possible.

Cheers

Friday, March 3

Worth pondering

I still say a church steeple with a lightening rod on top shows a lack of confidence.

- Doug McLeod


True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.

- David Tyson Gentry


When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities.

- Matt Groenig



Always remember...you are unique...JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

Nice thoughts these

Cheers

Monday, February 13

Muahahahahah

Hooraaah.....What a win !!

Great going lads. Yuvraj, Tendlya and da man Dhoni.
That man is nightmare stuff for bowlers. Killer.

I strongly suspect Rana Naved is leased out to India.

And yeah..Mohammad As if I care..

Bugger aff Inzy bhai

Cheers

P.S: I just hope I don't fall flat on my face after the next match. Pllees guys Pllees

Thursday, February 9

Hey You !!

I dread to post this. For me writing has always been an activity where I unload my mind. One could call it a sort of a "Pensieve", where all those thoughts which matter me are put down. But with putting them down, I tend to lose the intensity behind the thought, the passion with which they had initially created the furor in my brain is lost. I can't comprehend it, it sort of becomes a "task done" when the thoughts pass through my fingertips through the keyboard onto some server on blogger. I simply stop caring about them.
I lost the kick I used to get off ripping apart the silly cricket politics when I posted "The captain's secret diaries", I waned off the censorship issue after "Aaah..Respect my authoratah" and so on......

Why I don't know, maybe it's the type of generation we are in. Nothing lingers enough for one to actually taste it, everything is transient. Even the frustration is multi-directional. Sometimes it's the politicians, sometimes it's that idiot slow driver in front of you who has hogged both the lanes for the last 15 minutes by driving halfway on both of them and many more, too many ventouts..........The result is we are confused, rather I AM CONFUSED....Too many parameters to take care of...System overload.

(What I am trying to say has not quite come off in the above paragraph. I sincerely hope someone understands it.)

Saw Rang De Basanti. A very good attempt to say something which needs to be said. Excellent cinematography, good acting, great songs really kept one hooked.
It was multi-layered, and I was tuned into layer 2-B right from the start.
I especially liked the scene where Aamir breaks down for the first time. I don't whether to post this, but I admit I had tears in my eyes when I saw his frustration about not being able to help even when he wanted to. It was not because Waheeda Rehaman was in a coma or because there had been a lathi-charge or because it was an emotional highlight for the entire movie, it was the frustration of wanting to do, but couldn't do.

I have been thinking about me for the last 22 years, and that kinda has been getting to me.

I love eating, watching movies, I love my job, in short I do all that keeps me happy, puts a smile on my face. But that is not enough.
I wish to do something for someone who is not me.
I wish to do something, anything, I don't know what it is, but I sure hope I end up doing that.

So you see why I dreaded posting this ?

Wednesday, February 8

Get em pop-corns out !!

The recent activity taking most of my time apart from the job is collecting movies.
I am a self confessed movie addict. And have been collecting movies for a long time now !
Right from a Kurosawa to Robert Rodriguez, I wanna have them all.
IMDB top 250 has been quite helpful in giving the right direction.

Based on it I have drawn a list of around 150 absolutely kickass movies. My 80 Gb hard disk had let me down around 3 months back. From then onwards I have been burning cd's like hell..

Movies movies what would I do without thou !! (An unbelievably lame attempt to rhyme my feelings)

I strongly recommend a Snatch, LOTR, Kill Bill, Usual Suspects, Sin City, Monty Python, Wallace & Gromit- the curse of the were-rabbit, Young Frankenstein, Irreversible, Malena (its one of the most amazing coming of age movies), Platoon, Apocalypse Now, Patton, Battle of Britain...god the list is endless..

I request to all, those who have stumbled across some phenomenal films, kindly let me know if I missed them somehow. Any language, any country......

Sadly very few Hindi films feature in my list...I wished them to be a substantial number, but alas....

Feels good to be posting something after a long time. Hi to all fellow bloggers Molman, Shiva, Random... , Evenstar

Cheers

Thursday, January 26

Slowly coming back to life !!








I just found it to be extremely funny. I spilled the tea I was drinking when i saw this.

Finally I might be getting a break this week-end..so I am looking forward to post something.

Cheers

Sunday, January 8

Posted

Hello all,

Posting after a long time........


POSTING.....

Cheers