The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to
know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of
this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct¡leaving only Heaven ... thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept screaming "Oh my God!"
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
Monday, April 24
Tuesday, April 11
Two years down the line.............................
It is going to be nearly 2 years since it happened. I can still vividly remember the day. My Hydraulic Machines viva was due the next day. Preparations were going fine. Actually was quite high on confidence, as the viva on that day had gone extremely well.
The whole semester was turning out just to my liking. It was my father's birthday the next day. I was just sitting around discussing when and where to celebrate it.
Basically.... I was leading what can be described to be a very very normal evening.........
In general, as a group of close knit group of friends, one generally tends to imagine where each one of us would be 20 years down the line. All of us have a picture of everybody else in their thoughts. You assume that everyone would be where you imagine them to be. It is quite obvious I guess to do that once you are very good friends. You just assume that 20 years down the line, they are still with you.
Hah.
The telephone rang. I asked my mother to pick it up, she did. But all she said was "Hello" and then she listened for the next 5 minutes. I could easily read her face as the emotions on it turned from surprise to shock to horror....
All she said to me after that was : "Its for you"
I picked up the receiver, listened to the caller at the other end, felt my guts tighten, experienced shock as a chill ran down my spine. After another 5 minutes I replaced the receiver on the cradle, sat down, thought over what I just heard. I knew what I heard was just a lie, but I had to tell others about it.
Next 30 seconds went in searching Govindraj's number from my cellphone phone-book. Then I called him up and regurgitated all I had heard before. He confirmed my initial reaction by calling it a lie. Within 2 minutes Anup called me up and tried to convince me that it was all a sham.
But there was a trace of horror, terror to his voice, to my voice, which was forcing my by-now numb mind to think it over again.
But then you can't let go off such incidents before confirming them personally. Slightly shaking I drove to the place at around 10:00 pm. During that very short drive, I was literally praying that let there be no group of my friends standing at the gate. But there they were, lending an all too-ominous feeling to the atmosphere.
I waited and I waited, spoke to some of my school pals. Heard different versions of the same story, hoping (fruitlessly) that atleast let there be one with a different ending. But, NO, the ending was the same.
Around 1:30am the confirmation came in a vehicle. I was hoping against hope till the last moment, till the doors opened and the party descended from the vehicle, that all this be false, please let it be an extravagant Mtv Bakra episode.
But there was no Cyrus inside. Just four men. Three of them getting out. One being carried out.
The next 2 hours right from the moment the three of them got out till the point the flames licked are something I will never forget.
Its been 2 years, but the memories linger, yes they are fading oh so slightly, the sad ones getting replaced by the good, funny, silly ones of the past, but they still are there. They shall never go.
Even today, my friends and me before sitting down for a meal or a drink maybe, always keep one extra plate and one extra glass at the table. Because it deserves to be there.
Cheers to you my friend, N.B.
The whole semester was turning out just to my liking. It was my father's birthday the next day. I was just sitting around discussing when and where to celebrate it.
Basically.... I was leading what can be described to be a very very normal evening.........
In general, as a group of close knit group of friends, one generally tends to imagine where each one of us would be 20 years down the line. All of us have a picture of everybody else in their thoughts. You assume that everyone would be where you imagine them to be. It is quite obvious I guess to do that once you are very good friends. You just assume that 20 years down the line, they are still with you.
Hah.
The telephone rang. I asked my mother to pick it up, she did. But all she said was "Hello" and then she listened for the next 5 minutes. I could easily read her face as the emotions on it turned from surprise to shock to horror....
All she said to me after that was : "Its for you"
I picked up the receiver, listened to the caller at the other end, felt my guts tighten, experienced shock as a chill ran down my spine. After another 5 minutes I replaced the receiver on the cradle, sat down, thought over what I just heard. I knew what I heard was just a lie, but I had to tell others about it.
Next 30 seconds went in searching Govindraj's number from my cellphone phone-book. Then I called him up and regurgitated all I had heard before. He confirmed my initial reaction by calling it a lie. Within 2 minutes Anup called me up and tried to convince me that it was all a sham.
But there was a trace of horror, terror to his voice, to my voice, which was forcing my by-now numb mind to think it over again.
But then you can't let go off such incidents before confirming them personally. Slightly shaking I drove to the place at around 10:00 pm. During that very short drive, I was literally praying that let there be no group of my friends standing at the gate. But there they were, lending an all too-ominous feeling to the atmosphere.
I waited and I waited, spoke to some of my school pals. Heard different versions of the same story, hoping (fruitlessly) that atleast let there be one with a different ending. But, NO, the ending was the same.
Around 1:30am the confirmation came in a vehicle. I was hoping against hope till the last moment, till the doors opened and the party descended from the vehicle, that all this be false, please let it be an extravagant Mtv Bakra episode.
But there was no Cyrus inside. Just four men. Three of them getting out. One being carried out.
The next 2 hours right from the moment the three of them got out till the point the flames licked are something I will never forget.
Its been 2 years, but the memories linger, yes they are fading oh so slightly, the sad ones getting replaced by the good, funny, silly ones of the past, but they still are there. They shall never go.
Even today, my friends and me before sitting down for a meal or a drink maybe, always keep one extra plate and one extra glass at the table. Because it deserves to be there.
Cheers to you my friend, N.B.
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